


the queen of the yearning hearts

by reptilianraven



Category: Hades (Video Game 2018)
Genre: CRJ Stanning Without Plot, Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, Humor, also i kill her so she can be in the underworld, the shameless translation of carly rae jepsen into an ancient greek setting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:16:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27775978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reptilianraven/pseuds/reptilianraven
Summary: “CRJ is here!”“CRJ?”“Charikleia Rae Jepsonian!” Hypnos says, looking a little bit more awake than usual. “She’s the best musician up top on Greece. Or well,was. Looks like she bit the dust yesterday and her parchmentwork came through quick and she got sent to Elysium for the rest of her wonderful days.”“You talk of her as if you’re a fan,” Zagreus says, amused.“I am. You will be soon enough, Zag,” Hypnos says seriously. “Charikleia’s music spares nobody.”-Charikleia Rae Jepsonian, better known as CRJ, was the best musician in Greece before she died. Now, she’s the best musician in the Underworld.
Comments: 7
Kudos: 33





	the queen of the yearning hearts

**Author's Note:**

> i just wanted zagreus to be a carly rae jepsen stan within the canon of the game…

Zagreus first hears her when he’s in Elysium. 

He’s on his 32nd escape attempt and he’s in the middle of trying to kill this chamber’s pack of Greatshields. They never make it easy for him, and that’s fine, but it always is a bit of a pain seeing his attacks get blocked. Zagreus is right on the edge of feeling frustrated, watching another one of his attacks get effortlessly deflected, when he hears something cut through the usual silence of paradise.

[It’s the sound of a salpinx, glorious and musical.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OE2qEpkWWoQ) It plays a tune that pulls at Zagreus’ core; a recognition of beauty. There is a voice, muffled by the walls of Elysium but still audible, that begins to swing sweetly while the beat of the song thrums in the ground and in the air. 

He can’t pay too much attention to the music—he’s got other pressing matters right now, namely, these annoying Greatshields—but as the song goes on, Zagreus can feel the music invigorating him, pushing his attacks forward as that mystery voice sings _”Run away with me, run away with me.”_ It’s as if the music is some kind of Boon from the gods themselves, filling him with a new kind of power, a power he revels in until he strikes down the last Greatshield Soul. 

-

Zagreus doesn’t make it to Theseus and Asterius this time—he was a bit too careless with some Soul Catchers in the next chamber, and he makes it a point to get rid of those butterfly balls _first_ on his next go—but he’s not too torn up about it. There’s always another attempt, and he emerges from the Pool of Styx like usual.

Hypnos, as always, is there to greet him as he walks by. 

“Ooh, bit the dust because of those pesky butterflies, huh?” Hypnos snickers. “You best be more careful of the little critters!”

“I definitely will try my best,” Zagreus says, shaking the last bit of Styx blood from his hair. “Say, any new shades enter Elysium lately? I was just there and I was hearing music.”

“Hm, give me a moment and, let’s give this a looksie and, oh. Oh! She’s here!” Hypnos’ eyes widen as he looks through his neverending list of deaths. Hypnos raises his head, grinning, and says. “CRJ is here!”

“CRJ?”

“Charikleia Rae Jepsonian!” Hypnos says, looking a little bit more awake than usual. “She’s the best musician up top on Greece. Or well, _was_. Looks like she bit the dust yesterday and her parchmentwork came through quick and she got sent to Elysium for the rest of her wonderful days.”

“You talk of her as if you’re a fan,” Zagreus says, amused. 

“I am. You will be soon enough, Zag,” Hypnos says seriously. “Charikleia’s music spares nobody.”

-

Zagreus easily makes his way through Tartarus, solely missing the wonderful song he heard up in Elysium. By the time he’s fighting Tisiphone, he’s taken to humming that iconic salpinx tune over and over again while he’s slashing with his blade.

His spirits lighten a bit when he makes it to Asphodel. At least here, there’s a chance of seeing Eurydice and hearing some of her music, and after a few chambers, he does come across her and she is indeed singing.

She isn’t singing Good Riddance, though.

[ _“Took a million miles to feel the final separation,”_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=01xj3WaVDyU) Eurydice sings. _“Don't you tell me now you know what you need. I need to find a love to love me with no hesitation. Don't you tell me now you're ready for me.”_

“Hello, Eurydice,” Zagreus greets when he dashes up to her humble abode.

“Oh hey, hon!” She smiles softly. “How’s it going?”

“You know, the usual constant escaping, and whatnot,” Zagreus says. “Is this a new song of yours? I’ve never heard it before. It sounds beautiful.”

“Beautiful it is, but mine it’s not,” Eurydice laughs. “It’s from that wonderful girl up on the next level, Charikleia. Song’s called ‘Right Words Wrong Time’, and boy, do I get that feeling.”

“Huh,” Zagreus says. “How’d you get the lyrics?”

“Same way I get my ingredients for all these tasty treats I give you, kid. Charon delivers it to me.”

“Huh,” Zagreus says again. “This Charikleia seems to have quite a lot of fans around here.”

“Oh hon,” Eurydice ruffles his hair. “You’re definitely next.”

-

Zagreus comes across Charon’s wares after a few chambers, and all is like it usually is except for the startling reality that Charon is...singing?

Or, well. Doing an approximation of singing, given that Charon isn’t exactly the most verbose individual.

When Charon sees Zagreus, Charon looks away, tipping his hat down in embarrassment.

“Don’t stop on my account. ” Zagreus says. “I think your voice is quite lovely.”

“Hhhrrrrrmmrmrrr?” Charon says.

“Truly, you should sing more often.”

“Hrrraaaaaaggghhh,” Charon says, pleased. 

“Is the song your singing one of Charikleia’s?”

“Mmmmrhrhrhhrh,” Charon nods. “Frrrrhrhr Mmmrrraaah Llllsshh.”

“Fake Mona Lisa?” Zagreus tilts his head. “I don’t think I’ve heard that one.”

“MHhhraaahh.”

“Mate, I’d be honored to hear you sing it.”

[And so Charon does. ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=csMWGlEsgeg)

-

Zagreus bests the Bone Hydra—the tune of Fake Mona Lisa under his breath the entire time—and once he gets through to Elysium, the music of CRJ is no longer just in his mind, but reverberating through the paradise itself. 

He finds Patroclus rather early, and this run seems to be the run of singing, because Patroclus isn’t depressingly talking to himself, but instead is depressingly singing along to [the music in the air. ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R0a5VJX0_6s)

Patroclus’ voice is soft yet strong, as he sings, _“I've been all alone, on my own. Every single night I pray. When you coming home, coming home? 'Cause I've been living for that day.”_

Patroclus sees Zagreus idling behind a rock. “Ah, you again.”

“Me again,” Zagreus waves awkwardly. He never knows what the right thing is to do, in the face of Patroclus’ heavy sadness. “You, er. You like her music, sir? Charikleia?”

Patroclus smiles sadly. “I do. She seems a wonderful lady, and music does help make this place feel a little better. I must say though, that as beautiful as her songs are, some of them do cut rather deep for those of us with…” He looks down. “...yearning hearts.”

“Are you alright, sir?” Zagreus asks, concerned.

“As much as I’ll ever be,” Patroclus sighs. “Go on and take something then be on your way then.” 

-

Zagreus goes through a few more chambers feeling a bit sullen, as he always does whenever he finds Patroclus. Not even the music can help. 

But then, through the music, he hears the familiar gong of a bell.

“Than!” Zagreus smiles as Thanatos appears in a dark ploom of smoke.

“You called?” Thanatos swings his scythe as the enemies begin to appear.

“I didn’t actually, but it’s still nice to see you,” Zagreus shoots him a grin before they both dash into combat.

These little contests he has with Thanatos always get Zagreus’ adrenaline pumping, but now he’s even more hyped up because of [CRJ’s music thrumming through the chamber.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybEODtj2E_8) It’s a solid beat that he shatters Voidstones to, his fiery steps following the flow of the song without Zagreus’ complete intention. 

He spares a look to Thanatos, and as he floats and kills enemies, he ever so slightly nods his head to the sound of the music. 

“Looks like it’s a tie this time, Than,” Zagreus walks up to Thanatos after all the enemies have been vanquished.

“It is,” Thanatos says sagely.

“You know,” Zagreus says, somber as he remembers overhearing Father get angry with Thanatos a few runs ago. Angry because Thanatos was helping Zagreus. “You don’t have to do this. Help me, I mean. I don’t want you to face consequences on my behalf, so you don’t have to keep coming.”

“You don’t understand, Zag,” Thanatos says quietly. “I can’t just leave you alone, I can’t just stay away—”

Suddenly and inexplicably, the muffled voice of CRJ through the chambers of paradise becomes clearer, her voice singing these words:

_“If my love's too strong for you, walk away. But I can't make this wrong when I see your face. My home is your body. How can I stay away?”_

“Er,” Thanatos’ face goes flushed. “I have to go. Mortals. Dying. Bye.”

“Wha—”

And he’s gone.

What was that about?

-

When Zagreus gets to the stadium Theseus and Asterius are there, but something is different.

That something being the huge stage in the center of the stadium.

“Uh?” Zagreus says, slowly pointing at the stage.

“Hellspawn!” Theseus greets as obnoxiously as he possibly can. “Today is a special day, as you can plainly see, for my partner and I will be sending you back to your horrid realm for the entertainment for our esteemed guest, The Queen of The Yearning Hearts!”

“Queen of the what?” Zagreus says, at a loss.

“Here she is,” Asterius says gruffly as the curtains of the stage part to reveal a shade dressed in a glorious rainbow colored chiton. “Lady Charikleia Rae Jepsonian.”

“CRJ?” Zagreus’ jaw drops as he sets his eyes on her. She walks around the stage with glee, waving hello to all of the spectators. “You’re CRJ?”

“I sure am, cutie!” Charikleia smiles.

Is Zagreus blushing?

“How dare you speak to the queen!” Theseus says, aghast. “Death will be your punishment, foul daemon!”

“May the best warrior win!” Charikleia cheers.[ “Here’s a song for you boys to get all of you blood pumping.”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZGxdtCs7Wo)

Zagreus dashes into action as CRJ begins to sing, soulful and powerful. Theseus and Asterius waste no time beginning to land hits, but there’s something about this song that makes Zagreus hang back for a moment and parry the attacks. He dodges and deflects and waits as the song slowly builds up, as he feels his god gauge slowly charge up, as he waits for the perfect moment and—

_“Tonight I’m getting over you!”_

_Now_.

Zagreus Calls, sending Zeus’ lightning down upon Theseus and Asterius right as the song goes into a _brutal_ beat drop. From there, Zagreus is so invigorated that the battle seems to go in a flash. 

All he knows is power. All he knows is Charikleia Rae Jepsonian.

Once Theseus and Asterius have wisped away into nothingness, all that remains are the raucous cheers of the shade and an adorable whoop from CRJ herself.

“Good job!” Charikleia says.

“Oh, uh,” Zagreus feels his face warm up again. “Thank you. I, uh. I love your music.”

“Awww, thank you so much.” Charikleia smiles. “Good luck on the rest of your journey, cutie!”

-

Zagreus doesn’t make it past the vermin this time, but he doesn’t mind too much. He did need a trip down to the house to fetch some parchment in case he sees Charikleia again. He’d like an autograph from the Queen of the Yearning Hearts herself.

**Author's Note:**

> the rainbow colored chiton that shade CRJ wears in this fic is inspired off of the [rainbow chiffon dress CRJ wore when she had her concert here in manila.](https://i.redd.it/jtvxifa5mdu31.png) that dress is seared into my mind and i will never forget it.
> 
> im [actualbird](http://actualbird.tumblr.com/) on tumblr!!!


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